What’s it like to live in a box? Most of us would laugh at that question. We immediately think of the homeless on lower Wacker Drive in downtown Chicago. Bear with me though-that’s not the kind of “box” I’m talking about. Did you ever hear the story of the guy who was stranded on the wrong side of a river? He asked god for a red row boat to get across the river. He believed that red row boat was the thing he needed to overcome his problem so he put all his energy into getting it. One day he looked and there was an empty raft floating down the river. He continued to pray for a red row boat. The next day he went on a walk and saw an empty motor boat docked. He continued to pray for a red row boat. The next day he saw an unmanned water taxi. He continued to pray to god for a red row boat. Finally, dejected, he looked to the sky in frustration and asked, “Why can’t I get across this river?” Of course if you take a look at his story, it’s pretty clear what his problem was. And it’s pretty clear what his mistakes were, so I’ll spare the remedial explanation. But, how many times do we do the exact same thing in our lives? We decide we want to “cross a river” and then we demand exactly how we want it to happen. That demanded request never comes and we’re left frustrated and upset. Here’s another more realistic example: A client of mine came to me asking for help with her goal: to lose weight. She’d tried every diet in the past, only to have little, to no success. So I asked her, “Well- what have you tried?” She blurted out, “Diets! Every diet known to man. Every diet searchable. Every diet I see.” We immediately started honing in on that. From experience I know that when you start “trying everything” that’s a sure sign that you’re missing the target. To me when you’re trying one thing after another after another, you end up just spinning your wheels, rather than actually getting anywhere. The more time you waste trying something else with no results, the more upset you get. The more upset you get, the more you try. It’s a vicious cycle. I immediately put her on a diet from diets. No more. She realized that her idea of losing weight was in a box. She believed that the only way to lose weight was to diet. Period. That was her “box.” Thinking logically, I ended up sending her to a doctor who found out quite serendipitously that she had a thyroid problem. That was a huge contributor to her stubborn weight. Once she got her hormones regulated, we decided instead of dieting, she should look to becoming more active and cutting her meals down to half-size portions and adding a salad to supplement. It was still enough to maintain a healthy caloric intake, but cut back on fats and calories. She ended up losing weight due to her healthy thyroid, changes in eating habits and increased activity. The real payoff was not just the weight loss, but the peace she had. She wasn’t just determined to lose weight on any diet. She was open to other methods of weight loss and using them all to her advantage. She broke out of her box. I believe that we can have any dream we can think up. Anything. If your dream is to be a lawyer, it can happen. If your dream is to lose weight, it can happen. If your dream is to buy a house, it can happen. The problem comes in when we take the “how” and put it in a box. And when we refuse to open our minds up to other ideas. Trust me-I’m the Queen of Determination. I lived for years with the idea of what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it…to no avail. None. Then finally I realized that maybe it’s me. Once I did that, I was able to see how I demanded life unfold MY way. But the reality is that I am not god. It’s awesome to have goals and dreams. That’s what the Law of Attraction is all about, but when it comes to the “how,” leave it to the Universe. She knows what she’s doing. Anya Dee is a Chicago writer with experience in the field of self-help. For more information on her work please visit: .mycoachanya.com

This entry was posted on Monday, February 8th, 2010 at 2:41 pm and is filed under Free Writing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.